Chawla, Jadeja Behind English Victory

This is a work of fiction inspired from true facts. The intention is not to hurt, defame or demean any individual whosoever but only to create humour. The author is sorry for the undesired consequences.

England broke the dry spell after a series victory on Indian soil after 27 years. The ‘Payback’ series saw some spinning around of events. The English batsmen stood strong against the Indian spinners. The spin attack comprising of the likes of Harbhajan, Ojha and Ashwin did not make much of an impact after the first test. The English turners Panesar and Swann did better on Indian soil than the local boys.

What could be the reason for this? India had won the first test pretty comfortably. They could have easily won the series, maybe a clean sweep. But from the second test onwards the English knew how to turn the ball and how to play the turn. It was like a magic wand went swoosh and they knew it all, or maybe someone taught them. Ravindra Jadeja and Piyush Chawla, who led the Indian bowling in the last test, taught the English how to play spin. Why? To earn a spot in the team. Had Singh, Ojha and Ashwin had performed well throughout the series, Jadeja and Chawla would not even be considered for the next series.

The British used their favourite divide-and-rule policy yet again. Samit Patel talked his Gujarati brother Jadeja into it. Being a part time left arm spinner he was not the ultimate help that England needed. So Jadeja along with Panesar convinced Chawla to train them. The two Indians gave away tips and tricks of the home side. Here are a few of those:

Leave Sehwag to himself. Jo run shuru mein barsaate hain vo zyada nahi banaate hain.

Don’t bowl close to the stumps to Gambhir. Leave him to dream about his newly-wed wife. In his daydream, he will leave the ones coming in too.

Sachin is already facing retirement pressures. We will not trouble him more by telling you the trick against him.

Kohli and Yuvraj are hot-headed men. They will not be able to resist just standing on the crease for long. *Jadeja wants to take their place in the team*

Dhoni does not score unless either it is performance based payment or there is news of him being sacked.

Pujara is new. We don’t have much against him to tell you.

Beware of Ashwin. He will do better than half the batsmen. The only way is to keep the wickets going on the other end.

When batting, guard your stumps for a while and Dhoni will think it’s a T20 game because that’s how he plays it.

With these tips the two boys finally managed a spot in the national side. Jadeja could not carry his Ranji performance here and missed a triple century by 288 runs. Chawla impressed but we still lost. BCCI on getting this news introduces Parwinder Awana and brings back the still not decoded Rahane and Dinda in the T20 side. Their decision to continue with the self-destructor Sharma still brings questions.

Meanwhile Sakshi accepts hand behind Dhoni sack talks. Sakshi when contacted said, “When he does not get off his bikes, I get the maids and servants to talk about me thinking of changing husband. The trick worked here too. Men will be men.”